I've been writing columns on this Japanese parenting website for several years. My latest article is about what I found out about how my 7-year old son thought about his Japanese speaking skills.
In my household, there're always two languages spoken: English and Japanese
(1) My son and I speak in Japanese to each other.
(2) My son and his daddy (my husband) speak in English to each other.
(3) My husband and I speak in English to each other.
(4) So when three of us are together, we are a bit complicated.
Although my husband doesn't speak Japanese, my son and I still speak Japanese to each other while switching to English sometimes for my husband to understand what we are talking about. Sometimes I sum up what he is saying although he can just switch to English to speak for himself. He does the same for me. When all of us find it easier to speak just in English for whatever reasons to speed up the conversations or to get to the conclusions quickly, we all speak English to each other. But I know that if we get too comfortable with speaking just English when three of us are together, I will lose even more time to speak Japanese with my son.
I'm luck for now since my son always says he prefers speaking Japanese with me and tells me not to switch to English!
He speaks Japanese fluently and sometimes uses English when he doesn't know how to say it in Japanese or uses Japanese when he doesn't know how to say it in English. I had not compared his speaking skills with others and always thought he spoke just fine for his age. After all, he was in a Japanese preschool for 3 years and has a good foundation in Japanese before he was enrolled in English-only kindergarten and eventually elementary school.
However, when we were in Japan last month, I discovered something new about him. He was hesitant with participating in a cake decoration lesson (which he said he wanted to participate) at a resort we stayed. After my mother and I encouraged him by reminding him that he loves to cook (or help me cook) at home, he quickly changed his mind and joined the lesson with other kids and an instructor. As we expected, he had a great time! Then he told me with a shy smile the reason he did not want to participate at first: He thought his Japanese speaking skills are not good enough compared to "people in Japan."
Whaaaat?!
My mother and I were taken aback by the fact that he compared his skills with "people in Japan" and that he thought his skills were not good enough.
I'm just so grateful that he told me this. It taught me not to take his language skills for granted but to appreciate and praise him for his continuous efforts.
我が家では常に日本語と英語で会話していますが、私と息子は日本語、息子と夫は英語、私と夫は英語、というように会話しています。
三人で会話をする時もこれは基本的に変わらないことがほとんどなのですが、そうすると私と息子は同じことを二回話さないといけなくなるので（私は慣れてますが）、三人で同時進行で会話するほうがスピードも理解も早い・・・と感じたりしたら、自然と三人が英語になり、そしてまた私と息子は日本語・・・というように変化します。ここで「三人で英語で話したほうが楽」ということを実感しすぎてしまうと、もう日本語を話すことがなくなりそうなので、私と息子がお互いに日本語を話すことが「前提」なのは助かります。
今のところ、息子は私とは（ほぼ）絶対に日本語と決めているらしいので、私が英語にすると「なんで英語を話してるの。ママと僕は日本語なんだよ」と言ってきます。
叱る時は英語のほうが楽だったりするんですけどねー。